In a poetic way I feel that I have done a lot of growing up in the last couple of months but I am genuinely offended by the sudden influx of 90s documentaries.
Last night was the premier of National Geographic's new miniseries "The 90s: The Last Great Decade?" I am not that old! At the soft and innocent age of 22 I simply cannot abide a being old enough to reminisce about my childhood by watching Nat Geo. Sadly, that is exactly what happened.
I have grown up in a delightfully stereotypical (albeit, sometimes backwards) way recently. On a regular basis I am shocked by the thoughts in my own head. Even more I am often surprised by situations I find myself in.
I am starting my first honest-to-God full time job in just over a month. Even though it is in a field I have worked for almost a decade and I am a full 2 years out of college it still amazes me that someone my age can get a full time job-with benefits.
Another shift I have noticed; People ave stopped asking my man and I "When are you guys getting married" and have started assuming we are and instead asking "So when are you guys thinking about having kids?". Now, having worked in childcare for as long as I have (especially when you are actually good at it) I've encountered the "Do you have any kids of your own" question for 3-4 years already, but only recently has everyone seemingly decided it is okay to ask in front of my other half.
The scary part is that I can see what we are gradually becoming and have submitted myself to certain colloquial phrases. We are:
"Young and in Love"
"Just starting out"
"Looking for somewhere to start a family"
What scares me is when I catch myself having those thoughts. Yesterday, for example, when we started looking at houses in our tiny little town. We came across a couple that we really loved-one on particular that sent my mid into a whirlwind of foreign thoughts that I was sure must have been put there by an alien.
As a nanny I essentially get paid to be a retro housewife. It is a job I love and I am good at. It sometimes takes a week or so to get into the groove but I really do love planning play dates and doing crafts and even folding the laundry during nap time. Logically, I have always known that if for nothing other than the fact that I'm practiced at it, I will make a great stay/work at home mom. Still, I was very surprised to catch myself fawning over this little 2 bedroom house (guest room for now-baby room later) with a deck (for entertaining) and a screened in porch (slash playroom). I almost audibly squeaked when my (notably nonreligious) fiancé pointed out that the local Baptist Church (The type I was raised in) was literally around the corner and around the corner in the opposite direction was the town park complete with duck pond and dog trails (but the beautiful yard is already fenced for our fur baby).
Growing up and being an adult is confusing and means different things for different people. One of my Facebook friends recently messaged me commending me on "taking control of my life" for seemingly no other reason than that I had started wearing makeup.
So what is "Growing Up" and what makes me an "Adult". A quote comes to mind that I cannot for the life of me find online but went a lot like this:
EDIT: My initial suspicions on the quote's origin was correct. This episode just happened to play today so I grabbed the quote from Bones character Clark Edison;
"I shave, sir. I have a driver's license, I've won a couple of fistfights, I saved a life, I've lain with a woman, I've been hustled at pool, I've defied my father's wishes, I have broken hearts and I have been heartbroken, so by all the markers of this society, I am a grown man."
Yes, I am young but I have grown a beard, driven a car, drank a beer and laid with a woman. I have felt the elation if love and the sting of rejection and the punishment of a hangover. I have shot a gun and made my own way in this world. I have as much or more education as you so by all the measures of this society - I am a man."
I don't know if I made that quote more or less badass, but you get the idea. For me, I still feel somewhat on the cusp. Only recently have I realized and accepted that, for lack of a better term, I finally have a woman's body. I am, for the most part, finally physically mature with the irritatingly wide hips to prove it. That realization (and the much needed wardrobe change that followed) inspired my on list of my society's measure of a woman. Some of these things I can check off and others are in the works or just over the horizon.
So before I wrap this post up let me share a few with you and please post any other measures of "womanhood", "manhood", or "adulthood" that you can think of. In fact, of many people who consider themselves adults can check all of these off?
I have the body of a woman
I have known the love of a man
I have experienced the touch of a newborn child
I have driven a car that I owned
I have experienced the loss of a loved one
I have left the nest (and returned again)
I have defended myself against violence
I have comforted another in loss
I have not yet held my own child
Or owned my own home
I am not yet married
But I am still a woman.
But if I may return to the original topic: I am just barely an adult, but I am certainly not old enough for Nat Geo to be making a mini series about my childhood. The 90s only ended 15 years ago. Give me a little longer before you start calling Blo Pens and Pokemon Cards "Retro".
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